City Weekly's Fulton on Chris Cannon

Salt Lake City Weekly's editor, Ben Fulton, gets it right about Chris Cannon-

So, there you have it, pages. Avoid creepy people. And listen up parents, please teach your children in the ways of righteousness before sending them off to Washington, D.C. You never know what those crazy elected representatives might try to pull, especially if they’re Democrats. These unscrupulous people will try to break your Republican Party loyalty. They’ll insinuate that House Speaker Dennis Hastert knew about Foley’s shenanigans long before they broke. It’s all a ruse, because …. because … well, because … hello, anyone, are you still listening?

Many of us remember Cannon as the firebrand on Capital Hill during President Clinton’s 1998 impeachment over the Lewinsky affair. Even as al-Qaeda was hatching its criminal plots, the nation’s Republicans were transfixed with glee over the prospect of finally getting Slick Willy where they wanted him. The Whitewater “scandal” was a bust. So, too, was, “Troopergate.” But everyone understands and loves a sex scandal, especially when you’ve got a president who, finally cornered, lied under oath. Cannon had his very own presentation ready to go, replete with documentary footage of John F. Kennedy, another in our nation’s long line of adulterous presidents, talking about the importance of rule of law. It took Cannon a couple tries to cue the footage correctly, but he eventually got his point off the ground.

Not so in this instance, of course. Because the actions of a Republican horn dog, you see, aren’t nearly as bad as those of a Democratic horn dog. It’s all about party loyalty, of course. It’s thinking like this that’s moved our nation’s two political parties closer to the line of street gangs or mafia rackets. In Cannon’s case, it’s thinking like this that moves him dangerously close to condoning the actions of sexual predators. As long as they’re Republican, of course. As The Godfather’s Michael Corleone said to his brother Fredo, “Don’t ever take sides with anyone against the Family.”