Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Endorsement: David Cook for American Idol

I cannot tell you how depressed I am that I'm actually writing a post about American Idol.

Really, really depressed.

About as depressed as I was when John Kerry won the Democratic nomination in 2004, but that was because I knew he would lose that November.

Seriously, I think I may go out back and shoot myself.

But, since I seem to be the only person on Planet Utah not talking about Davey Archuleta, I decided I might as well weigh in and let you all know why I hope he loses.

1. Losing is better for him.

Another reason I may commit suicide over this post is the fact that I know people who come in second do better than the winners. In fact, winning Idol is like winning the Heisman Trophy for football. Your destined to having that be the greatest thing you've accomplished in your life.

2. He's 17.

And, really, should you have made your greatest accomplishment in life at 17?

3. He's a Murray Spartan.

Whether it was their Halloween-like school colors (Orange and black? Really?) or the cancer I will get from going to football games where the wind blew off the Superfund site across the street, I hate Murray High. Not to mention the two fights I almost got in with a Murray parent during basketball season my Senior Year. The only thing that could make it worse is if he attended Skyline.

4. He's Mormon.

I'm not biased against Mormons (I am one, you know), but I have a bet that it will take 2.7 seconds after he loses to see someone post that he lost because voters couldn't look past his faith. Kinda like Mitt Romney.

5. I know writing that I hate one of the two finalists from some stupid kareoke show will drive readership to my blog.

Well, there you have it, the top 5 (of many) reasons that if I cared about such things I would be voting for David Cook.

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