Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Some Past Forays into my being a candidate, Part 1

This open letter to Jason Chaffetz reminded me of something:

I saw your TeeVee spot this morning. When you mention "kicking the game-winning field goal" as a qualification for United States Congress, it's very hard to lend you credibility or take you seriously. You're running for a federal delegation slot, not student government.

That got me thinking about times I ran for office in Jr High and high school.

In eighth grade, I had gym for first period. Every homeroom got to elect one person to the School Senate. After calling roll, the teacher had everyone who wanted to run for Senate step forward. I didn't step forward, I was pushed. Because I was no longer standing on the out-of-bounds line, the teacher considered me one of the six candidates. Because my last name came at the start of the list, I was the first to give my 30-second stump speech. Mine was something like this:

"Um yeah, my name is Bob, and you should vote for me because um, well, ah...." The someone blurts out "because he wears Wilson Athleticwear!" "Yes! That's right! You should vote for me because I wear Wilson Athleticwear!"

The rest of the candidates gave great speeches talking about how they would make smart decisions, and represent us well. Then, it came time for a vote. we all closed our eyes, and the teacher asked for a raise of hands for each candidate.

Of 40 kids, 5 were absent. Ben got one vote, and I got 34. Nobody else got any.

I was the lone vote for Ben. I thought he'd do a better job.

I went home and asked y mom for new gym clothes. Ones not made by Wilson.


Stay tuned for part II -- Stunning defeat and part III -- Cockyness, and the thrilling conclusion: part IV -- God's Endorsement

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