There have been rumors going around the internet about me, and it's just not funny. I have a certain reputation to uphold, and it just isn't cool.
Shaun posts a picture of me on his blog with the comment that "rumor has it that Bob can dance."
His "photographic proof" can be clearly adderessed:
#1- That cearly isn't me in the picture. The person in the picture isn't wearing glasses, and I always wear glasses. I'm blind without them, and therefore would not be able to see the person I'm dancing with.
#2- Even if that were me, the people aren't dancing. He's clearly just warming her hands up, because she was carrying ice cream in from the car. He also just told a really funny joke and that's why they're both laughing.
#3- There's nothing more you can do but educate kides as to the dangers of dancing. Frankly, this is the resposibility of parents. If you get on la dance ine, you may find people who are creepy. There are creepy people out there who will do and say creepy things like dance -- Avoid them.
#4- It has come to my attention that Shaun has had these pictures for some time now. He's only posting this picture now to discredit me weeks before the election.
#5- And finally, You know, these kids are actually precocious kids. It looks like, just maybe, this one dance was just a prank, just a bunch of kids sitting around, egging this guy on, you know. So, uh...the world's a complicated place, and we just have to do the best we can.
This spin has been brought to you by me, Chris Cannon, and Dennis Hastert.