Saturday, December 30, 2006

2006: The Year Gay Mexicans form Venezuela came to burn our flags and infect our spinich with 4 oz of shampoo while shooting our kids in school

It's time for my annual Year In Review, my favorite post of the year to write.


We waited, hoped, and prayed that some Miners in Pennsylvania were OK. Chris Buttars Intelligently Designs legislation. Stardust Crashed into the West Desert.

Larry H Miller pens a book: If I banned Brokeback Mountain, this is how I'd ban it.


The Utah Legislature said gifts from Lobbyists were good, Large School Districts were bad, and bullys were good and bad. People got upset about commetns made at a funeral that reflected the person's view on events. The Olympics were in danger of not happening until SuperMitt came in to save them.

Dick Cheney wrote a book: If I shot my friend, this is how I'd do it.


Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar. The World Baseball Classic is played, and nobody notices. The largest protest rally in Utah doesn't involve Rocky Anderson. I started to get mad. Pete Ashdown and Orrin Hatch faced off at high noon.

The LDS Church wrote a book: If Mormons could be Democrats, this is what they'd look like.


Zacarias Moussaoui is sentenced to life in Prison. Osama still not found. DailyKos came to town. The U had Impact Day, and Salt Lake Dems met. Everyone learned the meaning of Donkey Grave. Orrin Hatch learned of Global Warming from Michael Chichton. Orrin Hatch, Pete Ashdown, the LDS Church, and Rocky Anderson all agreed on something.

I wrote a book: If I disliked the way Megan Risbon ran things, this is what I'd say.


Nutcakes Gathered at the Salt Palace. Orrin Hatch went to Iraq. We looked at the election of 1976. It became OK for the Government to listen to your phone, but still not OK to take your AK47.

Peter Corroon wrote a book: If I were fiscally responsible, I'd give RSL loads of money.


Al-Qaeda in Iraq leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and 7 of his aides are killed in a U.S. air raid. Al-Qaeda in the World leader still not dead yet. Bill Gates got a charitable donation from Warren Buffet. The Devil Himself campaigned for Chris Cannon. Rocky Anderson figured out Utah's liquor laws. Orrin Hatch flipped us all off. Utah bloggers met for the first time.

The Republicans wrote a book: If we hated Marriage, this is how we'd disrespect it.


A frenchman fought back with a headbutt. Orrin Hatch remained a Butthead. Floyd Landis retained America's domination of France's bike race, but might have cheated. Democrats held a family reunion. Orrin Hatch used his contacts in Dubai to help a friend, doesn't use his contacts in D.C. to help someone in Utah.

Rocky Anderson wrote a book: If I wanted to stay in Salt Lake, this is how I'd work.


London police break up a plot to blow up planes over the Atlantic, members of the group don't even own passports. Orrin Hatch played the flipflopfippityflopflop game. George Bush came to town for RockyFest06.

I wrote annother book: If I were to almost die in Wyoming, this is how I'd like to go.


The Superdome Reopened. Orrin Hatch invented the hybrid car. Signs were stolen. Utah's Legislature further robbed our schoolchildren. Bob Bennet either hates Mormons or Democrats.

Mark Foley wrote a book: If I sent dirty emails, I'd send them to underage boys.


School shhotings were in. Google bought YouTube for a gazillion bucks. The US puts it's 300 millionth person in debt. John Kerry tries to lose annother election. Orrin Needed more Money. City Creek Center was announced.

Kim Jon Il wrote a book: If I built a nuke, this is how I'd do it.


Democrats, and a muslim, win nationwide, except in Utah. That KGB guy is killed after watching a Jazz Game at the newly renamed arena.

Michael Richards writes a book: If I were a racist, I wouldn't tell you N*****s


Tim Johnson's stroke coupld give Republicans powers in the Senate again. I became an uncle. Gerald Ford and Saddam Hussein, opposites on the niceness scale, both die the same week. John McCain hates blogs. The Deseret News proves they are a part of the liberal media.

Mitt Romney and Barak Obama wrote a book: If we were running for President, this is what it would look like


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