Friday, February 09, 2007

State of Utah Makes My Dreams Come True!

Someone must have elected Pedro to the Utah Legilature, because they are now making all my dreams come true!

I've always wanted to be a teacher, and now I can. And, I don't have to worry about going to school, racking up the debt just so I can make half of what I'm worth at a public school. I'll start my own school. I'll call it the Utah School for Elevated Learning, which my hand picked board of directors will pick over Sounth Hampton Institute of Technology. Our Mascot will be the seagull, pooping on our opposition.

USEL will seek students who otherwise may not graduate high school. Wel will work with them and make sure the achieve that goal, no matter what. We guarantee a diploma for 100% of our students.

What student wouldn't want to attend our school with course offerings like these:

~10 minute movies. Earn fame by making your own movies and uploading them to YouTube.
~World (of Warcraft) Studies.
~McDonald's Franchise management

We will offer many other classes as a self-study program. Our dress code will allow just about anything you could get away with wearing at a Jazz game. Except a CTR shirt. Just to piss Chris Buttars off. And because as a private school, I can.

Tuition at my school will be simple and cheap. I'll only charge you what you get from the state voucher system. I don't care if you qualify for the full $3000 or just the $500. That's what I'll charge you.

Where will this school be located, you ask? Well, I heard that the legislature is giving away free money to build things without regard to whether I'd make money for it. All I need to do is promise 17,000 people per concert with 11 concerts a year. Well, how can I not, with acts like the Beatles and Sonny and Cher coming to USEL auditorium I'll even donate the use of the auditorium to such events as the Licnoln-Douglas debates and the Jesus and his Deciples Reunion Tour.

If the legislature doesn't come through with the money, I hear Rocky Anderson will give me $12Million to put it at the fairpark.

If I don't get the money, I've already found a team of investors in St Louis ready to buy the idea.


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