Friday, March 14, 2008

A Second, Even More Totally Awesome Republican Candidate for Salt Lake County Mayor

So, it wasn't enough excitement for me an hour ago to hear of "Super" Dell Schanze's candidacy for Salt Lake County Mayor, but then I had to go see the County Clerk's web site.

Turns, out, there is another Republican running for the same office.

F Joseph Irish.

Who?

Well, let's see what he said in 2004, when running as the Personal Choice candidate of Salt Lake County Mayor:

My campaign objective is to get elected and change the title from Mayor to Vizier, term, to life, like a Supreme Court Judge, and the salary to $166,666.10 per year, plus benefits, and County Commission to Board of Mayors. The salary never to change.


Oh, and his Political Info is good, too:

Why am I running for office?

Actually, it's more a saunter than a run, and frankly, I am fed up with the political shenanigans or monkey business as usual. Plus, I would be able to rejoin the Income tax paying community and give the State an opportunity to collect money, up to 66.6% of the annual salary for the genetic extortion fund.

What do I have to offer the voters?

A navigator for proper direction in the New World Order, and, in time, a clean fresh breath of air, so to say


And, well, let's take a look at his bio, shall we?

Born:

Between 3:03 and 3:08 A.M. augur, hour of souls, Blue Moon October 28th Black Sabbath Saturday leap year 1944, Dawn of the "Nuclear Age" Year of the Monkey. The benevolent, sensible, sensitive second conceived child of the proverbial "Red Heffer". At Camp Afford Army Air Force base, Kearns, Utah, the bench of the Oquirrh Mt. range and Mt. Vision, and nicknamed "Speed" for a quick and painless delivery.

Education:

Pre-school, Assorted Air Force Bases, Salt Lake Buddhist Temple, St. Ann's for catechism.
Elementary - Lafayette, St. John's Lutheran school S.L.C.
Grammar - Cathedral of the Madeleine and Judge Memorial. Private tutor for French and Priest for choir, music and Latin.
High school - Father Flanagan's Boys Town, Nebraska East High, Salt Lake Trade Tech. Institute and High school diploma from West High school for colors.
College - General Curtis La May of the United States Air Force had made arrangements for Me to attend Annapolis, V.M.I. or West Point, but leaving Salt Lake was not an option after passing My entrance exams for the University of Utah, meeting My appointed counselor and touring the Engineering Depts. I made arrangements for tutors and a complete library from America's industrial complex and no distractions, Girls. My education in the past is attributed to the homes with extensive libraries and tools acquired in My youth, the house of an inventor and gunsmith, "Old Bens", and the house of Benz.


Things must be really bad at Republican HQ if Superdell is their sane candidate......

-Bob

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you'd hint that Mr. Irish might not be sane. His ideas seem par for the course for Utah's Republicans. Changing the title from mayor to vizier (my favorite campaign promise ever) only makes sense when you try to look at things from a Republican perspective!