Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Unpatriotic Commie/Liberal America-Hater Carl Wimmer

So, I want to start a revolution. Protest against the wrongs my government is imposing on me. Since this is 2010, the most important thing to have is a name. Hmm....

Let's name it after someone from the revolution! I found the perfect person!

He's a failed businessman turned lawyer (conservatives hate lawyers!). In his most famous case as a lawyer, he defended a law that restricted how much clergymen got paid (this is so perfect. We liberals love government declaring how much people get paid). Not only that, but the judge in the case was this lawyer's father! (Old-school Chicago politics at it's finest!)

This person used the momentum from this win to get elected into his colony's legislative body. (we liberals love electing celebrities!)

Nine days after being sworn into office, he proposed an act "in language so extreme that some Virginians said it smacked of treason." (Ann Coulter is going to write her next book about us. I know it!) In fact, he allegedly said "If this be treason, make the most of it!" The freshman representative waited for an opportunity where the mostly conservative members of the House were away (only 24% was considered sufficient for a quorum). In this atmosphere, he succeeded, through much debate and persuasion, in getting his proposal passed.

Later, in a speech to the legislative body against their federal government, he used graphic name calling, according to the only first-person record of the speech. (Typical Liberal can't say anything without cussing.)

Then, when he was Governor (for the second time), he voted against the ratification of the Constitution. (You can't hate America more than that!) George Washington tried to appoint him to be Secretary of State, but he declined because he didn't like Washington's policies. (Man, when you hate America, you really hate America!) But, he later changed his mind (flip-flopper!) and liked Washington better than Jefferson and Madison. (Hey, those are two more Founding Fathers! I really must be an unpatriotic Commie/Liberal America-Hater to name my caucus after this guy!)

Well, after all of that reading, I have come to find out that someone has already named their caucus after this person. What crazy liberal did that?



P.S. No, I don't think Carl Wimmer hates America. nor do I think he's unpatriotic. However, if a Democrat had done something like Patrick Henry, or even in 2008 had spoken out against the Federal Government in the way the PHC do, they would have been called Unpatriotic Commie/Liberal America Haters by Glenn Beck.

1 comment:

Jason The said...

Well said, Bob!

And I would like to ad that they can't even spell sovereignty, which I thought was just deliciously ironic.