Utah's Gay Marriage HAS affected my marriage

Since Friday's ruling, I've written several versions of a post about the fact that people can get married in Utah whether they are gay or straight.

None have been quite right.

Most;y it was a rehash of this post from 18 months ago about my position on marriage.  Since then, I've learned that my Great Great Grandfather Aagard was also a polygamist.  That's him down front in black.  He was thrown in jail for practicing a "non-traditional" form of marriage.

However, I don't want to get into the past.  I want to look to the future.

I'm a straight single Mormon.  I'm also nearing my 35th Birthday, which puts me at least a decade into "menace to society" status.  While finding a nice woman and getting married has been a desire of mine, it's hasn't been a top priority.  That all changed last night with this picture from the Tribune of people camping out at the Salt Lake County Government Center:

That's right.  People were camping out to be the first in line to get a marriage license.  Have you ever seen anything like that?  It was 30 degrees and precipitating most of the night last night, and these people were so excited about getting married that they camped out like they were waiting for concert tickets or a really good Black Friday deal.

That's commitment to marriage.  I don't know too many heterosexual couples that would do that to get their license.  At one point, the line was reported to be 1000 COUPLES long.  Amazing.

People who didn't think they could ever get married 72 hours before are waiting overnight in the cold and standing in long lines just for the privilege, and I can't ever muster up the ability to get a date?  Things need to change for me.

So, a big thank you to the Gay Marriage Pioneers who got married last Friday and today.  You made me more committed to getting married.  Because if it's that important to you, it should really be more important to me.  And maybe I'll be headed down to the Clerk's office soon to get my own marriage license.  in the meantime, I'm really going to enjoy your wedding reception at the City and County Building tonight.

My View on Marriage

The gentleman on the left is my third-great-grandfather John R Winder.  Born in England in 1821, he became the manager of a shoe store in Liverpool.  After joining the LDS Church in Liverpool, he arrived in Utah on October 10, 1853, exactly 99 years before his great-great granddaughter (and my mother) was born.

While in Utah, he engaged in several business ventures, including Winder Dairy, which still exists today (as Winder Farms).  Winder led the Nauvoo Legion against Johnson's Army in the Utah War, and served as Chairman of the "People's Party" while seeking to establish a two-party system of politics in Utah.  He also served as a delegate to serveral state Constitutional Conventions.

Winder was called to be the Second Counselor of the Presiding Bishopric of the Church in 1887.  As Second Counselor, he oversaw the completion of the interior of the Salt Lake Temple.  He was called to be the First Counselor in the First Presidency in 1901, a position he held until his death in 1910.

John Winder married Ellen Walters in 1845 in England.  He Married Tilda Jensen (my Third-Great Grandmother) in the President's Office in Salt Lake City in 1855.  In 1857, he married Elizabeth Parker in the Endowment House in Salt Lake City.  In 1893, he married Maria Burnham.

That's right, John R Winder practiced marriage that went beyond "one man one woman."  When the government banned plural marriage in 1887, they were in the wrong.  Any attempts since then to define marriage are equally as wrong.

I believe that marriage is a religious ordinance.  As a religious ordinance, it is between men and women.  Much like I believe that baptism, another religious ordinance, is to be done by immersion, and the baptism should only be performed on people older than 8.  Should the State of Utah pass a constitutional amendment banning the baptism of infants, so as to preserve the sanctity of traditional baptism?  Should Massachusetts ban immersion?

And, if we are to regulate marriage, how far do we go?  I'm just waiting for Alabama to pass a law further "protecting traditional marriage" by ensuring that marriage for eternity (as practiced by Mormons) is banned.  After all, the tradition is "til death do we part" is it not?

The "Sanctity" of Marriage

If my friend John has been in a committed relationship for 9 years.  There is a lot more "sanctity" in that relationship than in my friend Sam's 18 month marriage.  Or my friend Tim's 8 month marriage.  Newt Gingrich has married two people who previously held the title of "mistress" before they were his wife.  Sorry, but "marriage," as it stands now, really means nothing.

But, if Gay Marriage were legal, The Church would have to perform gay marriages.

Well, that part is a complete lie.  A Baptist marrying a Catholic is legal, but it doesn't mean they are legally allowed to be married in the Temple.  In fact, I have many good friends who are both LDS that were not allowed to get married in the Temple.  So, to say the Church would have to start performing Gay Marriages is, well, being dishonest.

I'm confused, what is your position?

Well, marriage should be a religious institution, unregulated by the Government.  However, it has also become a civil contract entered into by two people and endorsed  by government.  And, as a civil contract, it should be open to any two adults who want to enter into the contract.

My Take On Big Love

Back before Comcast robbed me of HBO, I loved watching Big Love. The only time I've missed HBO has been when Big Love was on.

But I haven't really wanted to see it. Until this week.

Because I wanted to see for myself what the uproar was over.

I watched it illegally on YouTube. And, frankly, the uproar was misdirected.

After all, as LDS Scholar Hugh Nibley said (H/T KVNUftp):

“Even though everyone may discover what goes on in the temple, and many have already revealed it, the important thing is that I do not reveal these things; they must remain sacred to me. I must preserve a zone of sanctity which cannot be violated whether or not anyone else in the room has the remotest idea what the situation really is… No matter what happens, it will, then, always remain secret: only I know exactly the weight and force of the covenants I have made - I and the Lord with whom I have made them - unless I choose to reveal them. If I do not, then they are secret and sacred no matter what others may say or do. Anyone who would reveal these things has not understood them, and therefore that person has not given them away. You cannot reveal what you do not know!” (The Temple and the Cosmos, p. 64)

One thing that killed me was how many people made it sound like the full Endowment Ceremony was going to be portrayed. In fact, only a small portion was shown.

And, there were two glaring mistakes. I won't mention what they were, but they were obvious.

And, the Temple wasn't the only secret thing portrayed. In the end of the episode, the head wife gets excommunicated from the LDS Church. I'm not sure how accurate the proceedings were to reality, but I'm sure you can't find that on YouTube like you can the Temple ceremony.

And, it should clear up any rumors that they are trying to paint mainstream Mormons as polygamists.

But what should really trouble us was something the LDS Church pointed out in their press release:

Before the first season of the HBO series Big Love aired more than two years ago, the show’s creators and HBO executives assured the Church that the series wouldn’t be about Mormons. However, Internet references to Big Love indicate that more and more Mormon themes are now being woven into the show and that the characters are often unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous.

And the problem isn't that they are portraying tus that way. It's the Mormons who are portraying themselves as unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous.

I'm talking to you, Gayle Ruzika. Chris Buttars. Paul Mero.

I'm guilty of it, too, on occasion.

However, it's usually what my non-LDS friends mean when they tell me I'm not like other Mormons they know.

As a missionary, I was always nervous when someone informed me they once lived next to/worked with/knew a Mormon. Was the person they knew a "good guy" or narrow and self-righteous?

And, I think City Weekly hit it on the head a few weeks ago with their cover story:

Utah is bisected along religious, cultural and ethnic lines. But Utah doesn’t like to show its two faces. Every effort is made to wear just a good face for our visitors, to smile for the cameras, to promote our wholesomeness and to otherwise let the world know that Utah is normal. Except it isn’t. And it’s getting worse.

The death of former LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley marked a transitory time in Utah’s perception of itself and of its residents’ willingness to cooperate with one another. Beloved on one side and highly regarded on the other, Hinckley may have been the last finger in the dike, holding back what is becoming a bloodbath of ill will toward each side of Utah’s cultural divide. Since Hinckley's death in late January 2008, a slew of angry influentials have grown so powerful and outspoken that, to persons outside the LDS faith, they appear not only to speak for the LDS faith but are tacitly allowed to do so.

Thus, to non-Mormons and outsiders, state Sen. Chris Buttars—who frequently cites LDS scripture—is the face of Mormonism, not current LDS Church President Thomas S. Monson. We can’t imagine this is a good thing. Nor can a growing number of formerly silent Mormons. If people like Buttars—and his hatemates on Capitol Hill—are ever to change or decline in influence, that change will have to come from pressures within the Mormon community itself.

On Harry Reid and Polygamy

Over the weekend, Paul Mero over at the Amicus wrote a piece asking why liberals are not up in arms about Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's investigation into polygamy.

First, Paul, to compare Reid's investigation into polygamy to Joe McCarthy's look into communism is absurd. It's like comparing this blog to the New York Times.

Unless Rob Miller's hit piece against me last year was done in conjunction with Senator Reid's office. Then maybe Paul has an idea....

But, in all seriousness, I really think Paul has the right idea.

With all of the other crap going on in this country, should Congress really be spending it's time on this?

Personally, I don't care what consenting adults do behind closed doors. To lump all polygamists into a boat with those who marry 12 year olds is like lumping all Mormons into the same boat as Gayle Ruzika.

And to think, he did this on Pioneer Day, the day Utahns (and Mormons in other parts of the country) celebrate Brigham Young's arrival in the Salt Lake Valley, hoping to come to a place where they could practice their religion as they saw fit, including the practice of polygamy.

-Bob

Senator Reid's Anti-polygamy hearing more biased than Utah Legislature

So, the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee is set to hold a hearing conducted by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid about polygamy.

The thing is, this hearing is going to be decidedly one-sided. The guest list, according to the Deseret News:

• U.S. Attorney for Utah Brett Tolman.

• U.S. Attorney for Nevada Gregory Brower.

• Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard.

• Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott.

• Stephen Singular, author of the book "When Men Become Gods."

• Dr. Dan Fischer, an ex-FLDS member.

• Carolyn Jessop, an ex-wife of YFZ Ranch leader Merril Jessop and the author of the book "Escape."

Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff was among those invited to testify, but he was unable to do so because of his medical condition after injuring a leg in a motorcycle crash. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., will lead the panel.

Hey, Mark Shurtleff, *THIS* is what helping children looks like

Dear Mr Attorney General:

I just wanted to share with you a news story I have been following this week:

SAN ANGELO, Texas - Authorities say more than 400 children have been taken from a polygamist compound and placed in state custody as they continue to investigate whether one of them had been an underage bride.

Authorities have uncovered the equivalent of a small town on the 1,700-acre property in rural West Texas they raided last week. They say 133 women left the compound voluntarily and that an unknown number of men remained there and are not free to leave.

Child Protective Services spokeswoman Marleigh Meisner says she believes the operation is the biggest of its kind in Texas. She was also involved in the 1993 siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Waco.

A girl's report to authorities last week that she was abused led to last week's raid.

In fact, many of these same people have been living here in Utah for a long time, having only recently relocated to Texas.

This is the same group that Warren Jeffs has led here in our fine state.

Child Polygamy is the elephant in the room. Everyone knows it goes on here, but it seems like you aren't willing to help those kids.

I attended a meeting a few months ago at the Capitol where a couple of members of your staff were willing to allow me to put myself and thousands of others at risk of being a victim of identity theft in exchange for possibly helping slow the rate of child pornography in a way that they were unable to show existed to begin with.

All I heard from their corner of the room was how mch they wanted to "help the children."

However, I haven't seen your office do too much to help the children of these polygamous families. Instead, you look the other way, until a high-profile case comes up. Then you stand in front of the cameras and proclaim how great you are.

Meanwhile, even with Warren Jeffs sitting in the Purgatory Correctional Facility, children are still being forced into marriages. You can stand there and look proud all you want, but you still haven't done anything on the subject.

In Texas, they seem to know how to get things done. They've removed the children from the problem while they investigate, not leave them there after they've found a problem.

-Bob

P.S. -- That's a very craptastic reelection web site you have there.

Polygamists and Vouchers

A few days ago, the Salt Lake Tribune had a story about how a large majority of voters in two polygamist towns voted in favor of vouchers last week.

While I won't comment further on the results other than to say I told you so, here is some fact-checking that needs to be done.

The voucher law barred scholarships from being used at schools that encourage "illegal conduct" - a provision apparently aimed at making private schools in polygamous communities ineligible.

However, it's only if the schools encourage illegal conduct, not the groups. So, as long as they don't mention the P-word, it's OK. Furthermore, if it's so illegal, why doesn't the Atty General do anything?

Other provisions of the law would have been obstacles in the community, too, such as a requirement that teachers have bachelor's degrees and pass background checks and that the school's program be accredited.

Actually, there was no requirement that teachers have bachelor's degrees. They could be "highly qualified" although it would be up to the school to decide what that meant. Also, schools didn't have to be accredited. They just had to show prospective students' parents proof of their accreditation status.

-Bob